I'm writing a college application essay and I want honest opinions...is it good so far what more should i add?

Are you familiar with the concept "show, don't tell"? There's not a lot of "showing" in this essay, and it's preventing your personality from coming across. The way you fix that is by sharing specific details that only you can provide. You may have known you've wanted to be a vet for a very long time, but something had to trigger that decision: what was it? How many pets did you grow up with? Can you describe a time your dogs were there for you when you were sick or depressed? And just what are the skills you have, apart from loving animals?